Sunday, May 18, 2008
Dusty Baker and Adam Dunn...
Adam Dunn, as he is wont to do, hit a giant three-run home run to win the game yesterday. However, Dusty Baker, the Reds' manager, first asked him to sacrifice bunt the two runners over. Here's how I imagine that conversation going:
DB: [walking over to Dunn] Big man!
AD: [eating a hoagy] mmmmm. Hey Dusty. What's up?
DB: Look man, we're in a tight spot. We're down by one, it's the bottom of the ninth--
AD: [confused] It's the ninth inning? Man, time flies.
DB: [laughs] Big man, you're hilarious! Look, we need you to move the runners over.
AD: [opening bag of White Castles] Cool.
DB: I'm glad we're on the same page.
AD: [finishing White Castle #4] Yeah, I'm going to hit a homer.
DB: Nah, man, we need you to bunt the runners over. Manufacture runs! Old school!
AD: [eating White Castle #8] Hmmmmm? Bunt?
DB: Get them runners over!
AD: [confused] Me? Seriously? I'm 6-6, 275, I've only ever bunted twice in my entire life. I'm actually kinda unsure how to even hold the bat...[fumbles with bat] Like this?
DB: Fundamentals! Veterans! Manufacturing runs! Clogging the bases!
AD: [opening pizza box] Dusty, that doesn't even make sense. I mean, I can try, but I'm pretty sure we'd be better off if I just went up there and hit a homer. Shit, I've had 40 each of the past four years. That's a pretty long track record of success.
DB: That's why it's such a great strategy! They'll never see it coming!
AD: [finishes pizza] Well, okay, I'll give it a shot.
Labels: baseball, Reds Theatre
