. . .

Same as every year, I'm giving up candy. Put your answers in the comments. Oh, no smartass response like, "I'm giving up self-denial", because that's just so funny and original I simply cannot take it and will delete that fucker before you finish laughing at yourself.

Here's another Lent question I have but am obviously too lazy to look up: When does Lent actually end? Holy Saturday or Easter Sunday? I've heard both ways.

Labels: lent

So, and this is a huge surprise, there was a shooting at a strip club in Vegas over All-Star weekend, and guess who was involved? The Titans' brilliant, both on the field and off, cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones. Here's the good bits:

Cofield said Jones, accompanied by a large posse, entered the club late Sunday night with a "Glad Bag" full of dollar bills, and soon began throwing the money at the dancers ("making it rain"). Rappers Nelly and Jermaine Dupri were also at the club, and were throwing money at the dancers from "blocks of singles".

Two of the strippers allegedly began to fight over the cash, and in part because of that confusion, the club owners turned on the lights in an effort to get all the patrons to exit the club.

Cofield noted that after Jones and his group left the club, there were allegedly multiple gunshots from automatic weapons coming from Jones' entourage, resulting in two bouncers being shot (both are in critical condition) and a woman also getting hit with the gunfire (condition unknown).

Oh man where to begin with the greatness? I, of course, have a list:

1. You've got an NFL player rolling into a strip club carrying a garbage bag.
2. Said garbage bag is filled with dollar bills.
3. Said NFL player starts dumping the bag out onto the stage.
4. This is apparently a common enough occurance that it has a name: "making it rain".
5. The initial "making it rain" causes Nelly and Jermaine Dupri, who also happen to be at said strip club, to also start throwing around dollar bills.
6. All of this causes a free-for-all onstage, with strippers trying to grab as much money as possible.
7. Of course a fight breaks out between the strippers.
8. All this is bad enough that the strip club managers have to turn on the lights. Anyone who knows anything about strip clubs knows that this never happens unless it's mandated by law. (Strippers, of course, don't look good in real light. Uh, I've heard.)
9. It's also bad enough that the club has to be evacuated.
   
10. And finally, someone gets shot.

Oh man. Oh man. No words can properly express my delight at this story. The Bengals need to sign Pacman Jones stat.

Labels: football, ridiculousness

So Justin wanted to taunt Dolph's invisible mustache with this:



Yeah, I'm frightened too.

Labels: Justin

So it's been a while. Here's what's been happening:

• Went to Medieval Times last weekend for Andy's birthday. Yeah...not my thing exactly. When you go in, they give you a colored paper crown (just like at Burger King) based on where you're sitting and what knight you're supposed to be cheering for. Well, instead of just handing it to me like a normal person, this fucking idiot tries to put the crown on my head. And so, not wanting to a) be touched by a stranger and b) look like a douchebag with a paper crown on my head, I back away and say no thanks. Instead of taking this chance to just hand me the fucking thing, she keeps trying to put it on my head. Well, goddammit, what do you think happened next? I keep backing away, she keeps trying to put it on me. So now I look like an even bigger douchebag running away from a teenager trying to give me a fucking paper crown. I really don't think it's unreasonable not to want a stupid paper crown, but apparently not at Medieval Times.
  
• Dolph is trying to grow a mustache. I guess he doesn't know he has blonde hair.
• In other Dolph news, he correctly picked the Bengals to go 8-8 this year. So now he's picking them to win the Super Bowl next year.
  
• So if you're keeping score, Dolph a) is growing an invisible mustache and b) thinks he's clairvoyant.
• If you're not watching The Sarah Silverman Show, you're missing out. She's just a brilliant performer. There's this promo running on Comedy Central for tomorrow night's show where she's giving a speech to schoolkids -- just watch her face. She gets all the mannerisms of a school speaker down perfectly, while saying some vile, hilarious shit.
  
• Also good and funny: 30 Rock. I initially stayed away because Tina Fey, former head writer of Saturday Night Live. Given the last time SNL was good was when Will Ferrell was on the show and it has been just unwatchable since then, staying away was a good assumption, I think. Anyway, this is one time I'm happy to be wrong. Best comedy of the year, and unlike other shows I could mention, this actually is great. Hopefully it doesn't get cancelled, which of course it will be.
  
• Andy Richter is coming back, this time as comedy P.I. I give it three shows before it's replaced by yet another hour of Howie Mandel spare-ing up the TV.
• Speaking of Andy, why hasn't Andy Richter Controls the Universe been released on DVD?
  
• Watched Harold and Maude finally. I liked it, even if I now can't get several octogenarian-sex images out of my head. Thanks for that, Ann. Anyway, how did Bud Cort not become a huge star? He's fucking great in this, the Jason Schwartzman of his time. What happened here?
• Hey, so the Shins finally released a new album. Despite the Garden State stigma, they're still great.
• Pitchers and catchers have reported to camp!
  

Labels: football, movies, music, random, TEG, TV

Here's the (international) trailer for the Judd Apatow movie Knocked Up. It stars the always-funny former Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, and The 40 Year Old Virgin star Seth Rogen as well as Katherine Heigel.

Labels: movies