Monday, March 26, 2007
A little tip from your ol' Uncle Tom...
...drugs are okay every once in a while, but too much will start to make you say things like this:
Quentin Tarantino Recalls Boxing With Bob Dylan
Quentin Tarantino Recalls Boxing With Bob Dylan
Labels: QT, ridiculousness
Monday, March 19, 2007
AWESOME
The Big Lead » blog » Breaking: Joey Porter Brawls with Bengals lineman Levi Jones in Las Vegas
I thought the Pacman Jones story was the best ever.
I was wrong.
I thought the Pacman Jones story was the best ever.
I was wrong.
Labels: football, ridiculousness
Friday, March 16, 2007
Operation NCAA Live Blog 2007
(All times Central.)
11:28 - I'm coming to you LIVE from my room in my Aunt & Uncle's house in Keller, TX. I would be downstairs with the HD feed, but my Grandpa is staying with us and doesn't like basketball.
11:29 - Holy shit, Albany's mascot is the Great Danes.
11:30 - They switched to the North Texas (my school) v. Memphis game. The crowd in NOLA agrees with that this game sucks, as at least 2/3's of the seats are empty.
11:33 - Okay, CBS has to be adding crowd noise. There are chants and cheering and there's no one there. This is worse than WWF.
11:35 - Watched Andy Barker, P.I. last night. Andy Richter can do no wrong for me, but I don't know if this show has any legs. I can't see anyone beyond comedy fans watching it -- it was really subtle, more of an amusing show rather than a laugh-out-loud one.
11:37 - UNT is up 10-5! How long will it last? Probably not long. At least there is no good game on, judging from the scores on the top (a shockingly great idea from CBS).
11:39 - Had to bring this up: what a shitty year for Duke. Their top two players, Greg Paulus and Josh McRoberts, who were top-10 recruits a couple years ago, just aren't that good.
11:40 - UNT guy gets a turnover, then fouled and the hoop as we break for commercial. UNT 16-11 Memphis.
11:41 - Miller Lite commercial, and am I the only person in the world who likes Bud Light better?
11:42 - Hanes commercial with Michael Jordan blocking all of Kevin Bacon's shots. What an asshole MJ is. Not to mention that Jordan and Bacon hanging out in a minimally-appointed room (all the walls are white, very little furniture) stretches the limits of believability. This isn't to say that Jordan and Bacon don't hang out, but in that particular set of rooms? Come on Hanes, get real.
11:45 - Offensive ineptitude on both sides here. UNT tries to run a pick and roll thing, but pick-and-rolls only work when the two players involved are isolated. Setting two picks for the ballhandler on the same side doesn't work because there are more defenders around to swarm the ballhandler. And Memphis had a three-on-two and took a three from the corner.
11:48 - 48 minutes and no John Mellencamp-Chevy commercial yet. I probably just jinxed us.
11:51 - UNT 18-18 Memphis. How did that happen?
11:53 - The "genius" of Bill Rafferty: Re: a charging foul on Memphis' fat forward: "God endows you with certain attributes, and [fat forward's] derriere is one of them. *cackle*"
11:58 - UNT's coach is Johnny Jones. There should be an age limit on which one could go by a kid's name. "Chipper", "Scooter", and all shorter names ending in "-y" (i.e., not "Andy", because you can't call someone "And") should be banned after you reach 16 years old. No, I'm not bitter because my family insists on calling me "Tommy" despite my obvious and intense dislike of the name. Well, maybe a little.
11:59 - UNT 22-23 Memphis. Probably for good?
12:00 - Hooters commercial starring my arch-enemy, Dick Vitale. I have never, ever seen a hot Hooters girl.
12:03 - Holy shit, Tom Arnold is in that black-swimming movie, Pride, as the evil white coach (think Cobra Kai sensei). I laughed harder at that than at most comedy trailers. I don't think that was the aim of the filmmakers.
12:07 - Finally someone makes a shot. UNT 24-23 Memphis.
12:11 - Christ this game is boring. Other games: Ga.Tech 15-25 UNLV, Albany 25-45 Virginia.
12:12 - It's so boring Rafferty is telling a nostalgic tale about Danny Ainge of all people.
12:14 - There are more people in the arena now, but there's still no way that the crowd noise matches up.
12:15 - Saw 300 last weekend. I wanted to walk out 300 times. But seriously folks, that was one terrible, terrible movie.
12:22 - Some dude hits a three to put Memphis up 33-28. It's all slipping away for UNT. Or not, it's still early. I'm just trying to add some drama to this boring fucking game.
12:25 - There was an Memphis alley-oop that I missed. Man I am a shitty blogger.
12:28 - Beyond the fact that I think golf is completely pointless, the sheer pretentiousness of the Masters repels me: the name, the "tradition unlike any other". My eyeballs hurt from rolling too much.
12:29 - Speaking of hurting, I helped Amy move out of her house (and into Andy's) last weekend.
12:31 - It's apparently halftime. UNT 28-37 Memphis. I can't look at Greg Gumbel (or his brother) without thinking of that "Gumbel to Gumbel" bit on Family Guy.
12:34 - Sadly, they switch to the Albany 30-58 Virginia game. No contest here. I'm searching for a Great Danes joke...
12:39 - Got one: The Great Danes must have peed in the house, because Virginia has been punishing them! Nothing?
12:43 - Alan Sepinwall has it right about Scrubs this season: they're just trying too hard. Outside of the musical episode, there hasn't been a consistently funny episode this year.
12:45 - There's a State Farm commercial about how great their personal service is. My experience with "personal service" and auto insurance is my agent giving my phone number to his son so he could pester me into buying life insurance.
12:49 - GT and UNLV are tied up at 40, so of course CBS is sticking with UNT 32-39 Memphis.
12:51 - You know what's irritating? The video player on ESPN.com's homepage. You can't turn it off, and it has noise, so if you don't know your speakers are on, you get blasted with a commercial.
12:54 - Not that he needs any advertising, but Bill Simmons' live blog is here. This is what he's good at, short bullet points and reacting to things in real time. When he tries to write Columns he gets sidetracked because he wants to cram as much in as possible. He would be the best blogger of all time, but he's not that good of a writer.
12:56 - First Mellencamp commercial, 1:56 in.
12:59 - I do like Rafferty better than Vitale. Rafferty definitely has some schtick, but it doesn't overwhelm his commentary. Compare that to Vitale, who has turned screaming and over-enthusiasm into a career choice.
1:01 - Rafferty comes through: Lundquist: "...Memphis averaging 61% [in free throw percentage] this year." Rafferty: "[some guy] averages 62%, so he's one of the good ones."
1:02 - UNT guy with a blown dunk, my favorite mistake in sports. The sound it makes, the look on the guy's face...pure genius. UNT 38-44 Memphis.
1:08 - Steal and breakaway dunk by Memphis, timeout by UNT. UNT 40-53 Memphis.
1:09 - That's 2 on the Mellencamp counter.
1:10 - 300 commerical. Did I mention that it was the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater?
1:14 - Final: Albany 57-84 Virginia. Post your own Great Danes pun in the comments.
1:22 - Twenty minutes, and two points have been scored -- three commercial breaks though. UNT 40-55 Memphis.
1:27 - Holy shit, a Penny Haradway sighting. What the hell happened to him?
1:30 - Memphis is winning by 12 with 6 minutes left. GT-UNLV is tied at 59 with 1 minute left...well, CBS finally gets its head out of its ass and switches.
1:31 - Aw, fuck, Billy Packer is doing this game.
1:32 - Right off an inbounds, UNLV gets a hoop and a foul. GT 59-61 UNLV.
1:33 - 5 Seconds on GT! UNLV ball.
1:34 - Time out, so they switch. UNT 54-63 Memphis. Lundquist says UNT has "climbed back into this." Yeah, probably not.
1:36 - Back to the good game...UNLV guy gets fouled, they're in the bonus...he hits both...GT 59-63 UNLV.
1:38 - Remember in the first season of The Wire where Wee-Bey is going down for life for a murder anyway, so he confesses for a bunch of other open murders so his boys don't have to, and the cops don't care all that much because it closes their cases? That's the feeling I get when I heard about Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's "confession".
1:40 - GT 61-66 UNLV, 12 seconds left. GT's probably done.
1:44 - UNT game is winding down, so Lundquist calls UNT a "really great school". Hmm...not so much, I'm thinking. UNT 58-71 Memphis.
1:45 - Another final: GT 63-67 UNLV. 1-2 today, counting UNT, which is pretty much over.
1:48 - And that's it folks: UNT 58-73 Memphis...the dream is over *sniff*.
1:58 - Getting some lunch downstairs...saw my grandfather watching Maury. Winthrop 17-24 Notre Dame.
2:04 - Shit, Winthrop goes on a run, 26 all.
2:16 - Again with the switching to shitty games! Let's turn off the two-point game so that we can show the 2-15 game (Wisconsin v. Texas A&M-Corpus Christi)! Note to non-geographers: Corpus Christi is about 12 hours away for D/FW, so it's not like we care all that much.
2:22 - Holy shit, A&M-CC 10-0 Wisconsin!
2:31 - Wisconsin needs to get its shit together. A&M-CC 15-4 Wisconsin. This is gonna fuck up some brackets if it holds up. Meaning mine.
2:35 - Is that Gene Hackman doing the voice overs for Lowe's commercials? Why hasn't he been acting, BTW?
2:42 - Well, maybe CBS made the right decision, because it's now Winthrop 50-34 Notre Dame. It's A&M-CC 18-4 Wisconsin.
2:47 - A&M-CC is a damn good team. They press and run, just what Wisconsin doesn't want to do. A&M-CC 23-7 Wisconsin, 6:30 left.
3:00 - Wisconsin is slowly crawling back, A&M-CC 25-13 Wisconsin.
3:01 - They keep playing this tired-ass Entourage/DirecTV commercial. Both things suck.
3:07 - Halftime, Wisconsin slows the game down and ends on a 12-2 run. A&M-CC 27-19 Wisconsin. If CC can't quicken the pace, they're screwed.
3:10 - A look-in on Winthrop 55-49 Notre Dame...remember ND was down 20 earlier...hits a three, 56-52.
3:13 - Ian Eagle, the spare-est broadcaster of them all, drops the ultimate cliche: "Winthrop looks like they're playing not to lose..." No one has ever figured out what that means. Winthrop 59-56 Notre Dame. Good game.
3:21 - ND with a 3, then a defensive stop, then one of ND's interchangable awkward white big guys gets a bucket. Winthrop 62-63 Notre Dame.
3:22 - Winthrop layup, then a 3, 67-63, 1:11 to go.
3:23 - Another gem from Ian Eagle: "[ND's Tory Jackson] has nine older brothers, none of which are named Tito." He should do stand-up.
3:25 - ND can't get a shot off, leading to a Winthrop break and dunk. Winthrop 70-64 Notre Dame, 28 seconds left.
3:34 - That's a final: Winthrop 74-64 Notre Dame. Does God not like ND anymore? First the Sugar Bowl fiasco, now this.
3:47 - Wisconsin has clawed back: A&M-CC 42-38 Wisconsin.
3:52 - Yeah, I'm losing steam/interest. Will there be another post?
3:55 - Well, shit, Wisconsin just tied it up at 47. 10 minutes left.
11:28 - I'm coming to you LIVE from my room in my Aunt & Uncle's house in Keller, TX. I would be downstairs with the HD feed, but my Grandpa is staying with us and doesn't like basketball.
11:29 - Holy shit, Albany's mascot is the Great Danes.
11:30 - They switched to the North Texas (my school) v. Memphis game. The crowd in NOLA agrees with that this game sucks, as at least 2/3's of the seats are empty.
11:33 - Okay, CBS has to be adding crowd noise. There are chants and cheering and there's no one there. This is worse than WWF.
11:35 - Watched Andy Barker, P.I. last night. Andy Richter can do no wrong for me, but I don't know if this show has any legs. I can't see anyone beyond comedy fans watching it -- it was really subtle, more of an amusing show rather than a laugh-out-loud one.
11:37 - UNT is up 10-5! How long will it last? Probably not long. At least there is no good game on, judging from the scores on the top (a shockingly great idea from CBS).
11:39 - Had to bring this up: what a shitty year for Duke. Their top two players, Greg Paulus and Josh McRoberts, who were top-10 recruits a couple years ago, just aren't that good.
11:40 - UNT guy gets a turnover, then fouled and the hoop as we break for commercial. UNT 16-11 Memphis.
11:41 - Miller Lite commercial, and am I the only person in the world who likes Bud Light better?
11:42 - Hanes commercial with Michael Jordan blocking all of Kevin Bacon's shots. What an asshole MJ is. Not to mention that Jordan and Bacon hanging out in a minimally-appointed room (all the walls are white, very little furniture) stretches the limits of believability. This isn't to say that Jordan and Bacon don't hang out, but in that particular set of rooms? Come on Hanes, get real.
11:45 - Offensive ineptitude on both sides here. UNT tries to run a pick and roll thing, but pick-and-rolls only work when the two players involved are isolated. Setting two picks for the ballhandler on the same side doesn't work because there are more defenders around to swarm the ballhandler. And Memphis had a three-on-two and took a three from the corner.
11:48 - 48 minutes and no John Mellencamp-Chevy commercial yet. I probably just jinxed us.
11:51 - UNT 18-18 Memphis. How did that happen?
11:53 - The "genius" of Bill Rafferty: Re: a charging foul on Memphis' fat forward: "God endows you with certain attributes, and [fat forward's] derriere is one of them. *cackle*"
11:58 - UNT's coach is Johnny Jones. There should be an age limit on which one could go by a kid's name. "Chipper", "Scooter", and all shorter names ending in "-y" (i.e., not "Andy", because you can't call someone "And") should be banned after you reach 16 years old. No, I'm not bitter because my family insists on calling me "Tommy" despite my obvious and intense dislike of the name. Well, maybe a little.
11:59 - UNT 22-23 Memphis. Probably for good?
12:00 - Hooters commercial starring my arch-enemy, Dick Vitale. I have never, ever seen a hot Hooters girl.
12:03 - Holy shit, Tom Arnold is in that black-swimming movie, Pride, as the evil white coach (think Cobra Kai sensei). I laughed harder at that than at most comedy trailers. I don't think that was the aim of the filmmakers.
12:07 - Finally someone makes a shot. UNT 24-23 Memphis.
12:11 - Christ this game is boring. Other games: Ga.Tech 15-25 UNLV, Albany 25-45 Virginia.
12:12 - It's so boring Rafferty is telling a nostalgic tale about Danny Ainge of all people.
12:14 - There are more people in the arena now, but there's still no way that the crowd noise matches up.
12:15 - Saw 300 last weekend. I wanted to walk out 300 times. But seriously folks, that was one terrible, terrible movie.
12:22 - Some dude hits a three to put Memphis up 33-28. It's all slipping away for UNT. Or not, it's still early. I'm just trying to add some drama to this boring fucking game.
12:25 - There was an Memphis alley-oop that I missed. Man I am a shitty blogger.
12:28 - Beyond the fact that I think golf is completely pointless, the sheer pretentiousness of the Masters repels me: the name, the "tradition unlike any other". My eyeballs hurt from rolling too much.
12:29 - Speaking of hurting, I helped Amy move out of her house (and into Andy's) last weekend.
12:31 - It's apparently halftime. UNT 28-37 Memphis. I can't look at Greg Gumbel (or his brother) without thinking of that "Gumbel to Gumbel" bit on Family Guy.
12:34 - Sadly, they switch to the Albany 30-58 Virginia game. No contest here. I'm searching for a Great Danes joke...
12:39 - Got one: The Great Danes must have peed in the house, because Virginia has been punishing them! Nothing?
12:43 - Alan Sepinwall has it right about Scrubs this season: they're just trying too hard. Outside of the musical episode, there hasn't been a consistently funny episode this year.
12:45 - There's a State Farm commercial about how great their personal service is. My experience with "personal service" and auto insurance is my agent giving my phone number to his son so he could pester me into buying life insurance.
12:49 - GT and UNLV are tied up at 40, so of course CBS is sticking with UNT 32-39 Memphis.
12:51 - You know what's irritating? The video player on ESPN.com's homepage. You can't turn it off, and it has noise, so if you don't know your speakers are on, you get blasted with a commercial.
12:54 - Not that he needs any advertising, but Bill Simmons' live blog is here. This is what he's good at, short bullet points and reacting to things in real time. When he tries to write Columns he gets sidetracked because he wants to cram as much in as possible. He would be the best blogger of all time, but he's not that good of a writer.
12:56 - First Mellencamp commercial, 1:56 in.
12:59 - I do like Rafferty better than Vitale. Rafferty definitely has some schtick, but it doesn't overwhelm his commentary. Compare that to Vitale, who has turned screaming and over-enthusiasm into a career choice.
1:01 - Rafferty comes through: Lundquist: "...Memphis averaging 61% [in free throw percentage] this year." Rafferty: "[some guy] averages 62%, so he's one of the good ones."
1:02 - UNT guy with a blown dunk, my favorite mistake in sports. The sound it makes, the look on the guy's face...pure genius. UNT 38-44 Memphis.
1:08 - Steal and breakaway dunk by Memphis, timeout by UNT. UNT 40-53 Memphis.
1:09 - That's 2 on the Mellencamp counter.
1:10 - 300 commerical. Did I mention that it was the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater?
1:14 - Final: Albany 57-84 Virginia. Post your own Great Danes pun in the comments.
1:22 - Twenty minutes, and two points have been scored -- three commercial breaks though. UNT 40-55 Memphis.
1:27 - Holy shit, a Penny Haradway sighting. What the hell happened to him?
1:30 - Memphis is winning by 12 with 6 minutes left. GT-UNLV is tied at 59 with 1 minute left...well, CBS finally gets its head out of its ass and switches.
1:31 - Aw, fuck, Billy Packer is doing this game.
1:32 - Right off an inbounds, UNLV gets a hoop and a foul. GT 59-61 UNLV.
1:33 - 5 Seconds on GT! UNLV ball.
1:34 - Time out, so they switch. UNT 54-63 Memphis. Lundquist says UNT has "climbed back into this." Yeah, probably not.
1:36 - Back to the good game...UNLV guy gets fouled, they're in the bonus...he hits both...GT 59-63 UNLV.
1:38 - Remember in the first season of The Wire where Wee-Bey is going down for life for a murder anyway, so he confesses for a bunch of other open murders so his boys don't have to, and the cops don't care all that much because it closes their cases? That's the feeling I get when I heard about Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's "confession".
1:40 - GT 61-66 UNLV, 12 seconds left. GT's probably done.
1:44 - UNT game is winding down, so Lundquist calls UNT a "really great school". Hmm...not so much, I'm thinking. UNT 58-71 Memphis.
1:45 - Another final: GT 63-67 UNLV. 1-2 today, counting UNT, which is pretty much over.
1:48 - And that's it folks: UNT 58-73 Memphis...the dream is over *sniff*.
1:58 - Getting some lunch downstairs...saw my grandfather watching Maury. Winthrop 17-24 Notre Dame.
2:04 - Shit, Winthrop goes on a run, 26 all.
2:16 - Again with the switching to shitty games! Let's turn off the two-point game so that we can show the 2-15 game (Wisconsin v. Texas A&M-Corpus Christi)! Note to non-geographers: Corpus Christi is about 12 hours away for D/FW, so it's not like we care all that much.
2:22 - Holy shit, A&M-CC 10-0 Wisconsin!
2:31 - Wisconsin needs to get its shit together. A&M-CC 15-4 Wisconsin. This is gonna fuck up some brackets if it holds up. Meaning mine.
2:35 - Is that Gene Hackman doing the voice overs for Lowe's commercials? Why hasn't he been acting, BTW?
2:42 - Well, maybe CBS made the right decision, because it's now Winthrop 50-34 Notre Dame. It's A&M-CC 18-4 Wisconsin.
2:47 - A&M-CC is a damn good team. They press and run, just what Wisconsin doesn't want to do. A&M-CC 23-7 Wisconsin, 6:30 left.
3:00 - Wisconsin is slowly crawling back, A&M-CC 25-13 Wisconsin.
3:01 - They keep playing this tired-ass Entourage/DirecTV commercial. Both things suck.
3:07 - Halftime, Wisconsin slows the game down and ends on a 12-2 run. A&M-CC 27-19 Wisconsin. If CC can't quicken the pace, they're screwed.
3:10 - A look-in on Winthrop 55-49 Notre Dame...remember ND was down 20 earlier...hits a three, 56-52.
3:13 - Ian Eagle, the spare-est broadcaster of them all, drops the ultimate cliche: "Winthrop looks like they're playing not to lose..." No one has ever figured out what that means. Winthrop 59-56 Notre Dame. Good game.
3:21 - ND with a 3, then a defensive stop, then one of ND's interchangable awkward white big guys gets a bucket. Winthrop 62-63 Notre Dame.
3:22 - Winthrop layup, then a 3, 67-63, 1:11 to go.
3:23 - Another gem from Ian Eagle: "[ND's Tory Jackson] has nine older brothers, none of which are named Tito." He should do stand-up.
3:25 - ND can't get a shot off, leading to a Winthrop break and dunk. Winthrop 70-64 Notre Dame, 28 seconds left.
3:34 - That's a final: Winthrop 74-64 Notre Dame. Does God not like ND anymore? First the Sugar Bowl fiasco, now this.
3:47 - Wisconsin has clawed back: A&M-CC 42-38 Wisconsin.
3:52 - Yeah, I'm losing steam/interest. Will there be another post?
3:55 - Well, shit, Wisconsin just tied it up at 47. 10 minutes left.
Labels: college basketball, live, TV
Friday, March 09, 2007
Oh man, who the hell do I cheer for?
Longtime readers (like there's more than one, and that person is me) of this blog know that despite being an atheist, I'm also a Catholic, which basically means that I cheer for Catholic colleges in sports. So what do I do when Notre Dame is playing Georgetown?
Labels: college basketball
