Tuesday, March 28, 2006

 

Dum-dum-dum, dum-dum...



Arrested Development is probably gone for good. Showtime had a deal where they would pick up the show for 26 eps/2 years, but Mitch Hurwitz (the show's creator) doesn't want to do it anymore. 'Tis a sad day for television -- at least we have the DVD's.

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

 

Later, Wily Mo...

Well, the Reds traded Wily Mo Pena, the Dominican man-child outfielder, this week. Well, what did they get for him, you ask? A shitty-music-playing, groupie-fucking, dreadlocked asshole of a pitcher, Bronson Arroyo. That's it. One pitcher for one of the most interesting outfield prospects that's come along in a while. Do you mean to tell me that this is the best Krivisky could do?

Arroyo is a league-average pitcher. Well, okay, that makes him automatically the second or third best pitcher on staff. But, Arroyo is a flyball pitcher. The last flyball pitcher the Reds signed? That's right, my pal Eric Milton.

Something that's gone largely unheard in the wake of this fiasco is the first base situation. Before the trade, Adam Dunn was going to move to first following the Sean Casey trade. A positive move, one they should have made a couple years ago in fact -- it allowed them to put Pena, Kearns and Dunn on the field at once. The outfield defense would have been atrocious -- Kearns was hurt too much early in his career and hasn't developed as a defender, Griffey has lost a ton of range and was overrated to begin with, and Wily Mo, well, he's Wily Mo -- barely concious -- but getting rid of the out machine that was Sean Casey would have more than made up for it.

Now what do we have? The Reds mysteriously signed Scott Hatteberg, the A's former 1B'r, as a backup. Now, given Narron's veteran fetish, you knew that wasn't going to last. Dunn will be back in left, and Hatteberg starting on opening day, just watch. Hatteberg can't hit. His OPS+ last year was 79. That means his OPS was 79% that of an average player. That's any player, and Hatteberg is a first baseman -- the position where you shove your shitty defenders who can stroke the ball (see Thomas, Frank, Thome, Jim, etc.). That's why Dunn was going to move there. Hatteberg is obviously not going to hit well, and he'll have to be benched. So who's next? Rich Aurilla was told to get a first baseman's glove, that's who's next. Are the Reds trying to give me a fucking stroke?

The correct move would be to put Chris Denorfia, the sole prospect in the Reds' organization who is even remotely close to the majors, in left and leave Dunn at first. That won't happen of course. If they're concerned with Dunn at first, there has to be a minor league free agent or a Rule 5 guy they could have picked up who can hit better than Hatteberg or Aurilla. This lack of imagination is why the Reds will likely be condemmed to mediocrity for the the forseeable future.

(Oh, and as if you needed any further proof this is a bad move, Ryan is in favor of it.)

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

 

Why the hell not?

...I'll do an NCAA live blog. I should be doing homework, but whatever. All times CST.

4:57 - That's it for the afternoon games. I might start a new one later on tonight. Peace, bitches.

4:56 - Alabama 90-85 Marquette. Turned into a good game there. 5-for-7, with one of my 16 down.

4:55 - Novak misses a wide open 3 with 8 seconds left, and Marquette has to foul. They're done, looks like. Meanwhile, Montana 87-79 Nevada. 5-for-6. (cue the Charlie Brown sad music, and picture me walking away with head down.)

4:51 - Novak misses a turnaround jumper with 30 secs left and Marquette down one. Marquette has to foul. 19 secs left, Bama dude hits both. Marquette down three.

4:48 - The things you learn from Dick Enberg: The Marquette coach's wife is Jim Harbaugh (ex-Bears and Colts QB)'s sister.

4:45 - Novak for Marquette (think Scott Padgett, except good) gets Marquette within 1.

4:43 - J.Felix for Alabama is 8-11 for 3's today. Marquette down by 4, 2:20 left.

4:37 - Not very long, it looks like. Marquette is down by 10 with 4 left, Nevada down by 9 with 2:23 left.

4:31 - The Pontiac commericial just asked me to "Google Pontiac" and showed a picture of the Google home page. Did Google get any $$$ from that? I haven't heard of this anywhere.

4:27 - Oh yeah, 5-for-5 now. How long can my luck last? Stay tuned.

4:25 - Hail Mary play fails, Tennesse 63-61 Winthrop. If anyone is still convinced Tennessee deserved that 2 seed, they are dumb.

4:22 - Winthrop game is on the analog feed. Holy shit, some guy on Tennesse just hit an off-balance, long 2 off an in bounds play. Super ballsy, Tennessee up by 2, 0.4 seconds left.

4:19 - Tip dunk works this time, Marquette up by 1! Go Catholics!

4:16 - Winthrop/Tennessee tied at 61, 21 seconds left. Marquette is back within 1, 12:39 left. Nevada is still down to Montana, goddamn 5 seeds.

4:15 - Florida 76-50 S. Alabama. 4-for-4!

4:14 - Speaking of The Sopranos, I really liked the premiere on Sunday. Word is, this season is going to unfold Pulp Fiction-style; i.e., the premiere was actually the finale, and the rest of the season is showing what led up to Uncle Jun shooting Tony. I think that would make sense. They are doing 12 eps now, then 8 more in December (IIRC), so the 8 left over could be the aftermath of the Tony shooting.

4:07 - Looks like S.Alabama is toast, down 24 with 2 minutes left. Winthrop up by 1, 3:30 left! Why can't I watch that game!

4:05 - Marquette is crawling back, dueling 3's and they're down by 6.

4:03 - In the realtors commercial, they say "they live by a code of ethics." I watch The Sopranos, and so does the Mafia. Just saying.

4:00 - Anyone else watch that Big Love show on after the Sopranos?

3:56 - now we're back to Marquette - Alabama. Switch it back, CBS! Just because we're in the south doesn't mean I want to see this game!

3:53 - they just cut to commercial in the middle of a posession. Fucking CBS.

3:52 - This game is awesome. Up-and-down the court, intense and physical as hell. This is why people hate the NBA and prefer college basketball.

3:48 - They flipped over to Winthrop-Tennessee and it's in HD too! Tied up, 10:30 left in the 2nd. I hope they stay on this game.

3:41 - Alabama 44-30 Marquette at the half. Marquette is not playing well at all.

3:36 - Unintentional comedy alert! A Marquette guy just tried a tip dunk and was blocked...by the rim.

3:35 - If you're wondering why I was so pissed about no HD, it's because HD sports is that much better. It's like the difference between black & white and color.

3:26 - Alabama up 15, 5 min. left. Also, Montana is up by 8 on Nevada in the battle of Western state schools. Oh, I have Nevada in the 16, so fuck.

3:23 - Clarification on the SA uniform entry. I don't mind plain/basic uniforms; I love the Penn State/Notre Dame/USC football unis, or the Yankees'. But those just look like they got them out of Eastbay.

3:15 - Marquette guy just did the "jump-and-throw ball back in off the other guy as it goes out of bounds" on some other dude. Except he threw it as hard as he possibly could. I laughed.

3:11 - Marquette is not playing well. down by 11, 10 left in the first. 6 turnovers to Alabama's one.

3:06 - Florida 31-25 S.Alabama at the half, closer than expected. SA has the most generic uniforms ever - blue with "Jaguars" on the front. They look like a high school team, not a D1 tourney team.

3:00 - Winthrop is keeping it shockingly close - only down by 2, almost the half.

2:57 - Deadspin is right - Jay Bilas does look like GOB.

2:55 - I'm weak. I can't focus on the game without announcers. Back to the analog feed.

2:52 - Screw it, I'm going to the HD feed. Alabama's coach has the ugliest crimson jacket on. Looks like some shit Bob Knight wore back in the 70's.

2:49 - the analog feed has sound.

2:48 - CBS switched to the Alabama - Marquette game...in HD! Jay Bilas and Dick Enberg are doing commentary. Dick Enberg is like everyone's grandpa - going on tangents that make no sense at all. His best sport is tennis, however. No sound yet, BTW. Great job, CBS.

2:37 - Here's something weird. The Superficial, one of the dirtiest celebrity gossip blogs, has CatholicMatch.com as a BlogAd. I clicked on it.

2:35 - There is a look-in on Tennessee-Winthrop. Winthrop is keeping it close early. Tennessee deserves a 2 seed like West Wing deserved all those Emmys. Which is to say, not at all.

2:32 - The hugely entertaining Ted Ferguson Bud Light ads are on today. In a shocking development, Ted Ferguson was actually available to make a PA at the Dallas St. Patrick's Day parade last weekend. I'm really astounded that he was available. (The parade was a ton of fun, except we got there late. I got sunburned bad. And drunk. Really drunk.)

2:30 - It's a shame Florida is so good, because I hate Billy Donovan. Here's a rule to live by, kids - never ever trust anyone with slicked-back black hair.

2:25 - What do you think the admission requirements are for the University of South Alabama? I can't imagine they're as selective, as, say, Xavier or UNT, who weren't selective at all. There's a joke in here somewhere.

2:22 - Now we're on Florida - South Alabama. Still no HD.

2:18 - The Defamer post said this is the first time SP has been censored by Comedy Central. Not true - there was an episode a few years back that featured Cartman tricking Butters' parents into beating him that CC won't air anymore.

2:17 - Done! 88-76 BC. Way way way closer than it should have been. 3-for-3, bitches!

2:16 - BC up by 9, 53 seconds left. Done?

2:15 - News from Defamer: Tom Cruise "allegedly" personally threatened Comedy Central into pulling the South Park Scientology episode that was supposed to air last night.

2:11 - HUGE dunk by BC. Up by 7 with 2:30 left.

2:09 - Quit whoring yourself out, Coach K. It just makes people (not me) hate you more.

2:06 - Xavier plays Gonzaga at 7:20 (ET?) tonight. Some smartass in my group named his picks "Xavier - One and done". Like we didn't know that? Where the fuck is the heathen UC?

2:05 - Smith at the line, 2 shots, BC down 2. Just made the first. And the second! Double OT!

2:03 - 12 seconds left BC down 2, they just called a timeout. An Army Reserve commercial is on. The son and dad are shooting pool and discussing the son's impending enlistment. Do sons and fathers shoot pool? The only thing my dad and I ever really did together was either yell at each other or go to gun shows.

2:00 - Should I have a drink this early? If anyone is reading this real-time, put your answer in the comments.

1:56 - Pacific just hit two fast break threes in a row and are up by 6 with 2:30 or so left in OT. Fuck you, Al Skinner.

1:55 - Oh yeah, there's a bomb scare in San Diego. The bomb dogs hit on a suspicious package in a hot dog cart. I'm no expert, but I know that dogs generally like hot dogs. (I want to work a Anchorman reference in here, but I'm at a loss.)

1:49 - What a shock, OT.

1:48 - Wait, BC called a timeout with 0.2 sec. left. Christ, just call it. They don't have time to catch and shoot.

1:45 - BC's star Smith just walked. You suck, Al Skinner, and you have stupid facial hair. OT.

1:43 - Christ, BC is close with Pacific. BC-Sweet 16 may have been a mistake, but I got caught up in the hype, and my natural allegience to Catholic schools. Pacific just tied it up with 9 seconds left.

1:41 - Oklahoma went down hard to UW-Milwaukee. 2-for-2, bitches!

1:40 - Ryan's fiancee Felicia, er, Ann never gave me a reason why Butte, MT sucks.

1:37 - Wichita State has just won. I'm one-for-one so far. How long is that going to stay? Not long, I'll bet.

1:36 - I'm in my Aunt and Uncle's living room and the laptop is on a shaky TV tray. I'm in the living room, and not the game room upstairs, so I can watch the HD feed. And guess what? CBS, in its infinite wisdom, isn't broadcasting these games in HD. Fucking hell.

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Thursday, March 02, 2006

 

List of cities I would move to...

I mentioned in a previous post that I have a list of cities I would move to. Here it is in no particular order:

Cincinnati
Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex
Austin, TX
San Antonio
Albuquerque, NM
Santa Fe, NM
Flagstaff, AZ
San Diego
the Los Angeles metropolitan area (including Orange County)
Monterey, CA
Santa Cruz, CA
the San Francisco Bay area
Eugene, OR
Corvallis, OR
Portland, OR
the Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia, WA area
Vancouver, BC
Spokane, WA
Missoula, MT
Butte, MT
Cheyenne, WY
Fort Collins, CO
Boulder, CO
Denver, CO
Fargo, ND
Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
Kansas City, MO
St. Louis, MO
Milwaukee, WI
Chicagoland, IL-WI-IN
Indianapolis, IN
Louisville, KY
Columbus, OH
Cleveland, OH
Pittsburgh, PA
Detroit, MI
Erie, PA
Philadelphia, PA
Buffalo, NY
Syracuse, NY
Albany-Troy-Schenectady, NY
NYC
Long Island, NY
any large city in Connecticut
Providence, RI
Boston, MA
anywhere in New Hampshire
Baltimore, MD
Washington DC
Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill, NC
Asheville, NC
Charleston, SC
Savannah, GA
Jacksonville, FL

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RIP Harry Browne...

The first presidential candidate I voted for, Harry Browne of the Libertarian Party, died today. I had a bumper sticker of his on the Black Hammer (RIP as well), my first (and favorite) car.

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I hope Dolph has an alibi...

Bomb threat forces Steelers out of theater

...

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