Wednesday, June 11, 2008
How many different groups can Mike Myers offend?
...I'm going to count:
- Hindus - The most obvious group, as their religion is being raped for the sake of "comedy" and a bad karma pun.
- Indians - His "character" uses a stereotypical Indian accent; he sounds like a bad Apu impression.
- Gurus - I know the damage control is saying that Myers is making fun of phony Westerners selling Eastern religion as self-help, but there actually are gurus in the Hindu religion who actually help people.
- Little people - I don't know, obviously, but I'm guessing Verne Troyer is considered a sellout among the little people community. The asshole just can't stop selling out his condition for the laughs of the full-size community. And for the love of God, please, Mike Myers, just put him down. We get it, Mike -- he's little.
- French-Canadians - Justin Timberlake plays some sort of stereotypical French-Canadian, thus continuing the grand Canadian tradition of Quebecois oppression.
- Other stereotypically swarthy cultures - I actually wasn't sure what ethnicity Timberlake's character was, so it's clearly offensive to all.
- Romany Malco - He's the black guy in the left-hand corner, and is a wonderfully talented comedic performer (see The 40-Year-Old Virgin). Not only does he have to be associated with this mess, he doesn't even get his name on the poster.
- The Toronto Maple Leafs - I'm guessing they're regretting allowing their involvement.
- Jessica Alba's newborn child - I will assume that Jessica Alba has no shame, given her main talent lies in clearly posed bikini paparazzi shots on some beach somewhere, but her poor child now has to live with this the rest of its life.
- Sunflowers - The sunflower is a noble plant. Its seeds, when roasted and salted, provide one of my favorite snacks. There's a nice Van Gogh painting of sunflowers. Why Mike Myers feels the need to ruin that for me too, I can't figure out.
- The letter "o" - What graphic designer said, you know what? The letter "o" kinda sucks. Every damn movie has an "o". What we need is a poorly drawn cartoon of Mike Myers' character replacing that bullshit letter!
- The audience - Does he and the studio really think this is funny?
- Most of all, me.
Labels: movies
