Tuesday, July 11, 2006
*Groan*...
Is there any worse television program than the Home Run Derby? Let me count the reasons...
- It's excruciatingly long. You've got 14 at-bats of at least 10 pitches. Add in all the no-swings, and it's probably 20 minimum. That leaves a lot of time to kill...
- Chris Berman. Who likes his schtick? Is there anyone out there who still giggles at "backbackback...GONE" screamed over and over and over? Or the stunningly awful last name puns that haven't been funny since 1994? Why is this man still employed?
- The rest of the ESPN announcing crew. I really want to love Joe Morgan. He's the best 2B of all time, he's smart and well-spoken, he's a Cincinnati legend (I have a half-suspicion that my brother was named after him), and he's onery...I should be this guy's #1 fan...but he just says some dumbass shit. Like how Jose Reyes, the Mets' slap-hitting SS, is their MVP, over David Wright (who was "batting" at the time), and Carlos Beltran, who wasn't even mentioned. Harold Reynolds is a poor man's Joe Morgan - not half the player Joe was, and far dumber. And John Kruk. (That's all I have to say on that one, just his name.)
- The douchebag first-timer all-stars who are sitting there with video cameras. I realize this is a most likely once-in-a-lifetime event, something you've been dreaming of your whole life, but come on - you're a professional baseball player, act fucking cool.
- MLB's pathetic attempt to pimp their all-star jersey's by making the players wear those instead of their team uniforms.
- Oh, God, if I have to hear Chris Berman's voice one more time...
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