. . .: March 2005

Thursday, March 31, 2005

RIP, Mitch Hedberg...

Died of a heart attack, apparently. Only 37. Some quotes:

"Because of [dropping] acid, I know now that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit."

"I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes."

"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill."

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up.""

"Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful...I'm gonna go pick something up.""

More here...

# posted by T.E. Greaves, MLS @ 6:58 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Dammit I forgot...

Last Wednesday (3/16) was Stone Cold Steve Austin day, the day when you're supposed to drink beer and raise hell. I completely forgot and did neither.

# posted by T.E. Greaves, MLS @ 9:55 PM 0 comments

Ken Griffey Jr. DL pool...

I'm running a Ken Griffey, Jr. DL pool. You pick a date, closest person to guess when he goes on the DL wins a prize. (Might be a glue stick, might be a clock radio. You'll just have to find out.)

Already taken:
Dolph -- April 4
Ann -- May 18
TG -- June 15
Ryan -- July 24
Kevin -- August 3

Leave a comment or drop an e-mail to get in -- entry is free!

# posted by T.E. Greaves, MLS @ 9:52 PM 1 comments

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Does everyone have a sex tape these days?

X-Pac and Chyna have released a sex tape. I accidentally (seriously) click through on it today...and it's the grossest thing ever. They make the Paris Hilton video(s) look sexy.

(Ryan, I'm not linking to it. Just do a google search you baby.)

# posted by T.E. Greaves, MLS @ 9:38 PM 0 comments

Steroid hearings...

What a crock of shit. A few points:

The House "Committee on Government Reform" held hearings today on steroid use in baseball. Why exactly is the "Committee on Government Reform" holding hearings on (a) drugs or (b)baseball? Because it apparently has unlimited jursidiction. And people wonder why I am a libertarian...
These hearings are allegedly to "protect the children", so why are they only bringing baseball into the act? Baseball, in nearly every poll, is falling in popularity and participation among children. As much as it pains me to say it (and be forced to pay attention to it), the NFL is clearly the most popular sport these days. Where the fuck are they? Because they have a supposedly effective drug testing policy, they're exempt? Look at linemen in the NFL compared to 20 or even 10 years ago...they're substantially larger. How'd they get that way?
Oh yeah, also remember what Mr. Tony says about anyone who claims they are doing things "for the kids"...they're lying.
The senile senator from Kentucky and undeserving Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning testified today. He said: "Players who used steroids [...] their records and statistics from when they used steroids should be wiped out." Never mind that the effects of steroids on anyone's ability to hit a baseball are questionable at best, but why exactly is this coming up? Now the motherfuckers want to control our record books? And people wonder why I'm a libertarian...
As a longtime watcher of pro wrestling, it's been pretty obvious to me that more than a few players had been using for a while now. And you know what? I really don't fucking care. I really don't. The integrity of the game concept that rube sportswriters have been pushing for the last couple years is horseshit, and I don't care about "the kids" because (a) I neither want nor have (that I know of, heh heh) any kids, and (b) the notion that because respected public figures do something, millions of children will go out and try it is just plain absurd. Has there been an epidemic of below-desk BJs in the last few years because of Bubba? Hell, no. Kids are tons smarter than what authority figures give them credit for. Well, at least I was.